How Costco gave me Tourettes...
Saturday, August 14, 2010 at 8:28AM
Many of you know that the Lovely Family headed up to the Festival at Sandpoint yesterday to partake in the wonderful (I will repeat that, "WONDERFUL!") and ever so talented Mr. Michael Franti and Spearhead concert. Seriously awesome. MuchkinButt's face when he got out on stage? One word: sublime. She was in heaven watching him. A+ for Mom!
Anywho, unlike any other concert I've been to (I've been to a lot), the Festival allows you to bring in food and drink. Score! Only down side? The Lovely Family doesn't have a cooler that's easily manhandled, and I simply don't have the hutspah to carry a 50 pound cooler and wrangle a four year old at the same time.
Enter Hubs and his BRILLIANT "cooler-on-wheels" idea!
So, in order to procure said cooler and get me some grub, I head out to Costco yesterday morning before getting out of dodge. One problem... The gray cooler hubs told me about is actually blue.
Thinking to self: Is this the same cooler?
To self: Hubs is a man of certain tastes and will not tolerate just ANY cooler keeping his brewski chilled to the perfect 45 degrees F.
To self: Better snap me a quick pic and send it to Hubs lest I buy the wrong cooler and live in infamy for the next 14 years.
Enter Costco Cooler Nazi (think Seinfeld, my friends)...
Out of nowhere some gal comes running up to me and shrieks, "You can't take pictures in Costco!"
Me: "What?"
Cooler Nazi: "You can't take pictures in Costco!"
Me, seeing the dilemma and searching for a way to bring it to a swift conclusion, I try to explain that Hubs is obviously colorblind and a man of certain tastes: "Oh, sorry. I just need to snap a quicky and text it to my husband. He's apparently colorblind and I want to make sure this is the one he wants."
Cooler Nazi: "You can't take pictures in Costco!"
Me: "Seriously?"
Cooler Nazi: "You can't take pictures in Costco!"
Me, not one to be outdone: "Fine, I won't buy it then." And I walk away.
Meanwhile, I need to grab myself a bottle of wine and a few munchies (don't know where I'm going to keep said munchies cold, since I just vowed off buying the cooler of our dreams), but I grab them anyway. Stubborn to the core (that's me) I head toward the checkout and enroute I glance over to the cooler and there she is. Cooler Nazi in all her glory, staring me down. Like I'm going to snap a pic on the sly and send it to Hubs.
Has she been staring at me this whole time? Has she been watching me while I grabbed my $10.26 bottle of Columbia Valley wine? Has she been giving me the evil eye for the last 15 minutes? Spying on me like I'm some sort of petulant child ready to grab a Tootsie Fruit Lollipop from the penny row candy at 7-11?
Now I'm pissed.
Listen, I'm not one to snap and run. When I see a problem, I tackle it head on. I will not be outdone by Cooler Nazi pushing her broom. I gird up my loins and make a beeline to the Customer Service stand and spy me a Manager. I explain my situation (colorblind husband, Michael Franti concert, grub, beer, Cooler Nazi), whereupon she rolls her eyes and escorts me back to said cooler in order to take my pic.
Score!
Our beer was mighty chilly last night. Thanks for asking...
Reader Comments (18)
Just fyi, nowhere in the member agreement does it mention anything about not being able to take pictures. Now, the receipt checking is clearly written in the member agreement. You did better than I would, I would have taken the picture anyway and ignored her completely!
You are a much better person than I, I would have not only taken the picture right in front of her I would have then rubbed it in her face when I complained to the manager :) Im a bratt like that....This story made me almost pee my pants.. Love ya M..
Thank you for the clarification as your tweets were rather confusing. FYI, they have Book Nazis at Borders too. I have gotten scolded for taking photos there too. Not exactly sure why though....
Effing hilarious!
Thanks a bunch! Nothing like a little comic relief to break the tension.
Rob - Thanks for keeping it PG rated. This is a family blog, you know :)
ROTFLMBO!!! Great stuff here, M! You're causing quite a stir over at Huckleberries online, ya know. A couple of people not so happy with ya. But I'm a Seinfeld fan-atic and I get it totally!! Love ya...
Claire - Can't make everyone happy. Well, at least I didn't publish her name. That would have got me burned at the stake.
you are lucky they didnt call the cops and shoot you like the poor guy in Nevada...
Great Caesar's ghost! You actually posted a picture of the sacred cooler!! Call the Feds!!
PS: Does that purse come with the cooler?
The Costco near us is a little more laid-back. I haven't seen any "photo cops" prowling the aisles.
PPS: You win my coveted "best blog post title ever" award.
ZZMike - Thanks! And, just a note, I'm gonna have to use "Great Caesar's ghost!" on the blog sometime. I'll give you credit ;)
Rob - Holy schnikies! Are you kidding me?!?!?!?!?
COSTCO has a scam going in my opinion. What if Wal Mart charged a membership fee to shop there ? I have experienced their "naziness" in upgrading my phone there. Funny and yet all too scary blog post all at once !!
Actually had to pee when I read this one!
"Great Caesar's ghost!" - not mine - it was one of Perry White's favorite "OMyGosh" sayings. He was the editor of the newspaper in the Superman comic books. "Daily Planet", I think.
I am glad you said that!!!
Sincerest Regards,
Erwin
Goodness me! I nearly pee'd my pants! Great one!!!
Was that the only phrase they trained her how to say? "You can't take pictures in Costco!"? Haha that's too funny. I've never encountered any problems snapping photos there. After reading this I will definitely do it on the down low,
Errika - Whatever you do, don't try to hide your camera in your bra! Surely you'd get in trouble then!
I got the same thing at Whole Foods when I tried to take a photo of the cakes in the bakery. I also wanted to send a quick photo text to my partner to see which cake she wanted. So I just left and then came back a little later when the baker was helping someone. This time didn't have my phone out in plain view. I'm always snapping pics inside stores so I can remember products of stuff I might want to buy later. Now I'm more discrete about it. Apparently lots of stores are like this. Kind of ridiculous if you ask me.